4 Tips for Coming Out as Polyamorous
So you're thinking about coming out as polyamorous this holiday season. Here are four tips to help you with that.
Number one, think about why you're doing it. Everyone has different reasons, but it's really important that you're doing this for yourself and not just for someone else.
Number two, think about the responses you would be likely to get and what you might say to them. There are so many misconceptions about polyamory, so be prepared for questions about your sex life, about the longevity of the relationship, about how it interacts with marriage and children. Having an answer prepared means you're less likely to be put on the spot, especially during an already nerve wracking situation.
Number three, I would personally recommend coming out to family and introducing your partners as separate events. Unless you feel very strongly about a united front, if your family responds negatively, do you really want to be exposing your partners to that? If you can, come out to your family first and talk with them about how you would like your partners to be treated or addressed, then introduce them. It will also be less overwhelming for you to deal with.
Number four, remember that it's okay to not come out if it's not safe to do so. I'm a big fan of the idea of letting people come into your world as opposed to coming out to them. In my opinion, some people don't deserve to be come out to and that doesn't make you less polyamorous.
Good Luck!
Bonus thought: I came out as polyamorous in 2017, a year into my first open relationship, but the first time my parents actually met more than one partner of mine was 5 years later in 2022. Over the years, I’ve compiled a long list of every single wacky thing anyone has ever said to me about polyamory and how I’ve responded and corrected them as a resource on my website.
If you found this article helpful, consider the following:
Book a peer support session with me for further guidance and support on your non-monogamous journey
Support me on Patreon and access exclusive posts and perks
Subscribe to my monthly newsletter to stay updated about new resources, workshops and events
Follow me on other social channels - I’m at @polyphiliablog, everywhere.
