Are You Struggling With Polyamory, Or Change?
Are you actually struggling with polyamory, or are you just struggling with change?
What a lot of people don't realise about opening up a monogamous relationship is that, objectively, it's a huge transition. In the same way that having a kid is a big transition, or moving countries is a big transition. And change is scary for the vast majority of people.
So if you've been polyamorous for a couple of weeks and you're not having the best time, I would say, give it a little bit more time. Give yourself a little bit of patience and compassion. You're objectively introducing a big change to your relationships, and you need to let the dust settle a little bit before you can truly decide whether or not this is for you.
Of course, if polyamory is not a change that you want, then that's a different question. But you struggling with polyamory, especially in the first like six to 12 months, does not necessarily mean that you are not polyamorous. Hang in there.
If you’re doing something new and you’re not good at the first time, it doesn’t mean that you can’t do it - it’s an opportunity to keep trying, if you want to.
Unlearning monogamous conditioning is a lot. It’s not something that just happens overnight, even if you’ve intellectualised all of your beliefs and understand cognitively why you want to be polyamorous.
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