Is Polyamory a Choice?
I saw this tweet by @turbo_erin:
Polyamory isn't an orientation because you can choose who you date"
Uh, you do that with every other orientation too.
If you're straight and single your orientation isn't magically in limbo.
"Yes but it's a choice to act on your feelings"
Again, the same as every other orientation.
It's not about the choice to act, it's about the intrinsic attraction to others. I don't have any control over that, I just AM.
I once saw someone make the distinction that people exist on a spectrum from monogamous to non-monogamous by orientation. The CHOICE part is when people choose to express their orientation outwardly to others, and choose to do so ethically or unethically. I also see monogamy/non-monogamy as an orientation similar to how people are wired to be introverts or extroverts - they can make choices around how they socialise or date, but it doesn't change who they are internally.
To be clear, whether polyamory is a choice or not, I still think we deserve more rights and recognition as well as less stigma and judgment for how we live our lives.
If you found this article helpful, consider the following:
Book a peer support session with me for further guidance and support on your non-monogamous journey
Support me on Patreon and access exclusive posts and perks
Subscribe to my monthly newsletter to stay updated about new resources, workshops and events
Follow me on other social channels - I’m at @polyphiliablog, everywhere.