What’s New: October 2025
💥 NEW ONLINE WORKSHOP: Deconstructing Couple Privilege 💥
Have you ever been upset at a partner for making a decision about your relationship without your input? Have you ever encountered someone who claimed to be "non-hierarchical" but used it as a way to avoid any conversations about the couple privilege they held in the relationship? Have you ever grappled with complicated feelings around how to treat people equitably while making space for the differences in each of your relationships?
If any of this resonates, my final workshop of the year is for you. I've teamed up with Polyamarla, a fellow creator and licensed therapist, and we're going to be bringing all the nuance in a 2-hour workshop and Q&A. We will cover:
- the problems with hierarchy discourse in non-monogamous communities, and the many ways asking "is this hierarchy?" can actually be counterproductive and even harmful
- how couple privilege affects all partners in polyamory, not just those outside of coupled pairs
- how finances, disability, parenthood, and other factors intersect with - and complicate - the concept of 'couple privilege'
- how to consider, mitigate, or (if desired!) dismantle the effects of couple privilege in a effective, empathetic, and communicative way
ALL TICKET HOLDERS WILL GET A RECORDING, so even if you can't make the date, you won't miss out on anything. Concession tickets are available for low-income folks - just message one of us for a code!
🏳️⚧️ TRANS AND NON-BINARY SEX 🏳️⚧️
How do I have pleasurable sex as a non-binary person, or have sex with trans/non-binary people in ways that are affirming to them? This voice note is about the intersection of gender and intimacy, and how I personally navigate assumptions about touch and sex acts in relation to my non-binary gender.
💕 MEETING YOUR METAMOUR 💕
Meeting your partner's partner for the first time can be a daunting prospect. And of course, you don't have to meet your metamour if you don't want to - but if you DO, then this video guide is for you! I go over all he things to consider if you're meeting a metamour for the first time, or if you're the person in the middle wanting to arrange for your partners to meet each other.
🤪 'SPLITSVILLE' REVIEW 🤪
I generally keep my expectations low for non-monogamous representation in the media, but this one surprised and delighted me. Is it a trainwreck? Yes. But did I enjoy it? Absolutely. Watch this to learn about my in-depth thoughts on the film as well as a (not so serious) psychoanalysis of the four main characters and their motivations.
❤️🩹 HEALING FROM PEOPLE PLEASING ❤️🩹
How do I stop feeling like I'm 'too much'? How do I account for my metamour's feelings while asserting my needs? How do I support multiple partners going through hard times? Is polyamory an orientation or a choice? I answer all this and more in this month's Q&A - and this time, as a special bonus, I answered some questions that we did not get to in my Polyamory for People Pleasers workshop!
✍️The Largest Non-Monogamy Survey EVER! ✍️
OPEN, a grassroots nonprofit working for non-monogamy rights and acceptance, are conducting their annual study of non-monogamous experiences worldwide. This anonymous 20-30-minute survey covers identity, relationships, experiences, and community needs. This year, they’ve partnered with Dr. Amy Moors at Chapman University, a leading non-monogamy researcher, to bring a new level of academic rigor to this research!
Why participate: This data directly supports advocacy work – previous surveys helped win legal protections in major cities.
Eligibility: 18+ and practice any form of consensual non-monogamy (polyamory, open relationships, swinging, relationship anarchy, etc.)
Study details: Chapman University IRB approved (IRB No. 26-13). Research questions: Dr. Amy Moors, moors@chapman.edu. IRB concerns: (714) 628-2833 or irb@chapman.edu.
Participation is completely voluntary and anonymous. Please share with your non-monogamous networks – more voices = better data = stronger advocacy!
💬 MEDIA APPEARANCES 💬
I was in loads of different things this month - and the best thing is, I'm starting to branch out into general sex and relationships content as opposed to just polyamory!
Stylist quoted me in an article about whether feeling like you need to be your 'best self' to date is a good idea, Mashable included my advice on how to get over a breakup, I shared my thoughts on the 'full bush' trend and what this means for body positivity, and I was included in a post by The News Movement on the recent obsession with virginity in reality TV.
I was also in a podcast - I was interviewed on the Flirtcast by Benjamin Camras where I shared some polyamory and non-monogamy 101 info.
🤗 NEED SUPPORT? 🤗
If you need emotional support, advice, resources, or just a space to vent about all things non-monogamy, don't hesitate to reach out through my peer support service.
