What is ‘Tolyamory'?

Tolyamory is a new term coined by Dan Savage last year, which refers to relationships that are, in principle, monogamous, but where the people involved turn a blind eye to each other's infidelity. They know it's happening, but they just want to keep up appearances. They tolerate it. Hence tolyamory.

This is different from polyamory, which involves open communication and consent, and it's also different from a Don't Ask Don't Tell, arrangement where people explain people explicitly agree that they are non monogamous, they just don't want to know about it. Tolyamory is a situation that is only created through zero communication. I don't love the implication that it's being lumped in with polyamory, but let me know what you think.

Do you know anyone in a tolyamorous relationship? What do you think of this term coined by @dansavage?

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You Might Be Using ‘Solo Polyamory’ Wrong