“Polyamorous People are/aren't Ugly!” - You’re Missing the Point
I'm a polyamorous person and I make a lot of content about polyamory because that is my full time job. And every single day, I get people coming into my comment section to tell me that I'm only polyamorous because I'm too ugly to find someone to love me exclusively and monogamously. And you know, I'm used to that, I get that all the time now.
But I also get people coming to my comment section to defend me. What they say is that they actually think I'm really attractive and I could be monogamous if I wanted to. I really appreciate that, but all of you are missing the point because:
monogamy is not a reward and polyamory is not a consolation prize for failed monogamy.
I don't care about being attractive, especially not to monogamous people.
Don't feed the trolls. Mind your own business. Have a nice day. 😊
I hear “polyamorous people are ugly” as an insult a lot - and yes, it’s unkind, but let’s think about this for a moment. Because even if this was true (which it isn’t)…so what? I’m not saying I believe I’m ugly, but also, why would it matter if I was? Do you believe that ugly people don’t deserve love, or that only beautiful people can and should find it? Does it make you insecure that I found love, especially with multiple people, as an “ugly” person?
Folks seem to be making the argument that love is less valuable if it’s shared among less attractive people, which is a truly fucked and consumerist mindset to have. So yes, maybe I am a polyamorous person who is ugly to you. I’m okay with that. I’m grateful to have partners who are not only able to recognise the beauty I know I inherently possess, but who also don’t value physical beauty as a reason to love me. And I hope that instead of getting defensive when people call you ugly, you can instead pity these people for trapping themselves in a system that would value something so superficial and temporary. Polyamory is what you make of it - but I’m here to help you on your journey, post by post.
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