Freedom In Polyamory Goes Both Ways
Intellectually, if you are dating multiple people, you should be okay with them also dating other people. Emotionally, having multiple partners feels very different from experiencing your partner(s) be with other people.
"I know I want this - why does it feel so hard? If I struggle with my partners having other partners, I'm a hypocrite and a terrible person..."
In polyamory, it's important not to have double standards in relationships - if you have the freedom to do something, then so should your partner (and if they don't want to exercise that freedom, that's their business, but it's not your choice to make). However, it's very normal for people to feel very differently about the same situation, depending on their upbringings, personal insecurities, experiences etc. - and not having empathy for each other's perspective is where conflicts commonly arise.
First off, you're not a bad person for struggling with non-monogamy, nor does it necessarily mean that you're not cut out for this. Secondly, just because it is a struggle now doesn't mean it will be a struggle in the future.
The solution? Talk about it. Take responsibility for your personal growth, but don't be afraid to ask for support in the process. Get comfortable with the discomfort, and don't rush to act or jump to conclusions about what your feelings mean when you're in an activated state. You can do this :)
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