Can You Be Too Traumatised For Polyamory?
One of the most common questions I get from polyamorous clients is, “Can you be too traumatised for polyamory?” The short answer: it’s up to you. The long answer:
No one gets to tell you that you’re not mentally healthy enough to love and be loved by more than one person. But, if you are going to embark on a polyamorous journey as someone with existing mental health issues, insecurities, and trauma, you will likely struggle more than someone who doesn’t have those things. And that’s okay, but it is YOUR CHOICE to decide whether you want to take on that work and responsibility.
Obviously, there are certain things that will be triggered regardless of the relationship style that you practice, so some of that work needs to be done ANYWAY, but I’m not going to lie to you - dating more than one person is factually a lot more to manage than dating one. And it’s okay if you cannot be bothered.
There are plenty of people who practice polyamory who have all kinds of mental health struggles - and there are also plenty of people who opt for monogamy simply because it’s easier on their individual nervous system. That’s okay.
I want to normalise the fact that you are allowed to struggle and still want non-monogamy. I also believe everyone has a different metric for how much they want to handle on their non-monogamous journey. I want my followers and private peer support clients to learn to trust themselves, identify what they need, and make their own decisions. My priority is to create a safe space for you to explore your issues and complex feelings without automatically assuming that you having problems means you're not cut out for it.
There are many valid reasons why people don't want to be non-monogamous, and that's okay. You're allowed to explore, to try things out, and to change your mind. It's also okay to go on a whole non-monogamous journey and decide at the end that monogamy is still what works for you!
Polyamory empowered me to find my voice, to stand firm in my own needs, and to make my own decisions, rather than go along with what everyone else told me was acceptable at the expense of my own authenticity. Similarly, I'm here to empower you to do the same
For more where this came from, this was just a taster - watch my full video on Patreon.
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