How To Develop Confidence In Non-Monogamy
Developing confidence in a non-monogamous relationship means you have to move THROUGH challenges when they happen, not run away from them.
If the goal is to learn to feel security within non-monogamy, you CANNOT do that if you keep seeing monogamy as a safety net.
The biggest mistake that you can make when opening up a relationship is opening and closing the relationship *repeatedly* as a way to avoid working on your insecurities. If you always stop before you get to the other side, how will you know what the other side is like, or how "scary" it really is?
In my peer support sessions, I've worked with plenty of singles, couples, and polycules who are opening up or trying non-monogamy for the first time and encounter issues, who are scared to continue but ultimately know that working through the problems will serve them better in the long run, not just with non-monogamy but also the relationship generally. There's a lot you can do to prepare yourself emotionally through research and reading, but when you're actually in the thick of it, you have to learn by doing. Can it sometimes feel like a trial by fire? Yes. But is it necessary if non-monogamy is something you really want to do? Yes. Can you reach out to me if you need more specific advice? Yes :)
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