“Why Don’t You Just Tell People To Leave?”
In my peer support sessions, the vast majority of my clients come to me because they’re experiencing some kind of problem in their relationship.
Most of the time, they just need some direction or a different perspective, or to talk to someone who isn’t their partner and have a space for their emotions to be held without judgment, and they leave with some helpful resources to resolve the issue on their own.
But sometimes, I work with clients who are clearly in relationships where they’re not going to get their needs met no matter how hard they try. But do I tell them to leave? No - at least, not directly.
I strongly believe in everyone’s capacity to make their own decisions, and to know their own situation best. I might have my own opinion or assessment or judgement of the situation, BUT as much training and knowledge as I have in this field, I am not the expert of someone else’s lived experience.
Usually, through reflecting someone’s emotional experience back to them, and making observations out loud of the patterns I’m noticing in their behaviour and the things they’re telling me, my client eventually realises on their own that they need to leave the relationship. And sometimes, they stay - because they’ve weighed up their options and are happy with their choice. Wherever they are at, I am there to hold space and guide them through that process. I’ve helped people navigate and grieve breakups, divorces, de-escalation, and restructurings - some amicable, some not - and all the nuances in between.
My sessions are client led. I am not a coach with a 10 step program, and I am not here to tell you what you should do. I am a peer supporter and trainee therapist, here to help you find your own answers and empower yourself with the tools and confidence to advocate for yourself and find people who are aligned with your values. I’m interested in working with your unique situation, and tailoring my approach to each individual client.
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