Mishandling Couple Privilege
Polyamorous people who aren't aware of their couple privilege can do a lot of harm, but on the flip side, those who rush to escalate newer relationships before they're ready in the name of "fairness" are also mishandling their couple privilege.
Your new relationships need just as much time to grow as your first one did. Let your connections take their time to blossom, and don't rush into things just because you feel guilty for having an established long-term relationship.
A useful metric for deciding how to progress in a relationship is to ask yourself: "Would I be doing this if my other relationships didn't exist?" This will help to assess whether the pace feels natural and organic for the connection, or whether you're feeling external pressure.
If you're dating someone who is already in a long-term relationship, it can be easy to feel envious, creating a pressure to "catch up" to get the same "benefits". Ask yourself: "Do I want this out of a genuine personal desire, or am I asking just because my metamour has it?"
Mishandling couple privilege can also come into play with breakups. Some polyamorous people 'rebound' after a breakup by rapidly escalating their other relationships to fill the void their ex left, which isn't fair and doesn't take into account others' needs/desires.
No two relationships will be exactly the same, because different people have different needs and relationships progress at different paces. Resist the urge to treat everyone equally and instead focus on the unique needs of each connection and what feels good between you.
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