Nuanced Non-Monogamy: Two Things Can Be True
I’m bringing the NUANCE, baby! Let’s try to hold more space for all the beautiful complexity of human relationships and think critically when engaging with content about this sort of thing. Let’s “yes AND”, not “yes BUT”! Here are 10 examples:
Polyamory is about love and intimacy, not sex, and asexual polyamorous people exist AND polyamory isn’t ‘better’ than types of non-monogamy where sex is more of the focus
It’s okay to make mistakes in polyamory; mistakes are part of the human experience AND making mistakes in polyamory is more likely to hurt a higher number of people
If polyamory were more normalised, there would be less monogamous cheating AND people cheat for a wide variety of reasons and they can also do it in polyamory
Non-monogamy allows for more fluid and flexible relationships where not all your needs have to be met by one person AND you don’t have to be ok with whatever someone offers in non-monogamy; it’s okay to have expectations and boundaries
You may not like every person your partner dates AND your partner is allowed to make different dating decisions from you
it’s okay to be polyamorous and married, or to desire marriage in the future AND marriage comes with financial and legal implications that create couple privilege, and not everyone will be okay with that
Your partner’s jealousy can bring up feelings of shame and guilt in you that are hard to deal with AND your partner deserves a space to have their feelings heard and processed
Your trauma is not your fault, and you didn’t deserve for that to happen to you AND your trauma is your responsibility to manage and avoiding the work will cause harm to other people
Love does not mean possession or ownership AND sometimes saying “you’re mine” to a partner is simply not that fucking deep
The idea that all polyamorous people are slutty and bisexual is a harmful stereotype AND I am all three of those things
What other “two things can be true” statements come to mind?
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