You Will Never Know Everything About Polyamory.

Written By Leanne Yau

Friendly reminder that being “experienced” in polyamory does not mean you are immune to or incapable of making mistakes, bad/toxic behaviour, jealousy/insecurity, and overall being a normal and flawed human being.

There's always room for growth, self-improvement, and accountability, so don't get complacent or hold yourself to an impossible standard just because you've been doing something for X years.

No matter how long you've been polyamorous, it's okay to feel jealous.
No matter how long you've been polyamorous, it's okay to doubt yourself.
No matter how long you've been polyamorous, it's okay to not have all the answers.
No matter how long you've been polyamorous, you're still human.

If you think you know everything there is to know about polyamory, spoiler alert: you definitely don't. I've been actively non-monogamous since 2016, but nearly a decade later, I'm still learning and growing like anyone else! I may not be making the same mistakes I did before, but I'm encountering new experiences, situations, and challenges that can only come with time.

In my peer support sessions, I work with a lot of "veteran" polyamorists - some who have been doing it for decades longer than me. Typically, these people just need a person who isn't connected to their local community to bounce their thoughts and feelings off of and discuss their situation.

However, what I find really interesting is that some people who have been doing polyamory for a very long time get complacent about their level of "experience", and when they encounter an unexpected challenge or make a mistake, they beat themselves up about it. All because they've been doing polyamory for a long time and they feel like they "should" know better. And to that I say - cut yourself some slack.

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Leanne Yau
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