Getting Outed as Polyamorous
One of my partners recently told me about an experience where her monogamous friend outed her and her partner to an entire group of people they didn’t know, just because they thought it would be fun and quirky. They immediately got a lot of unwanted attention and judgment that could have been entirely avoided.
I cannot stress this enough: DO NOT DO THIS.
Polyamorous people are not protected by the law in most places in the world and you never know what the consequences of outing someone could be. The wrong info could get to the wrong person and someone could lose their job or kids. Or, best case scenario, you put your friend on the spot in a very uncomfortable position - and what do you get out of that?
This goes for any marginalised identity or group - it is not your info to share or your call on what is a safe space. (Especially now, when human rights are increasingly under threat.)
Even as someone who is extremely public about my life and who I am, I may not want to deal with the emotional labour of being asked a lot of invasive questions when I meet someone new. When I’m in a new space I need time to gauge the vibe, and by outing me you put the focus on my sexuality over me as a person, and put me into an incredibly vulnerable, or at least painfully awkward, space.
Have you ever been outed? What did you do next?
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