Casual Sex Is Not Inherently Exploitative
Casual sex is not inherently exploitative, and I am so done with the idea that if a man comes up to you and tells you that he wants sex with you but not a relationship, that he is inherently objectifying and exploiting you. That is just not the case.
There's this idea that if you're having casual sex with someone, you can't do that and also respect them as a person - you either see someone as marriage material or a hole that you're going to fuck - and that's just not the case. There is so much nuance in between those two polarities.
I have had some immensely fulfilling casual sexual relationships that did not escalate to a romantic connection because that was not what either of us needed at the time. We were able to do that while being respectful because we honestly communicated our boundaries and expectations. We made agreements and we followed through on them, and we just did not fuck each other around on what we actually wanted.
Also, men are not the only ones who want casual sex, and women are not the only ones who want relationships. If you believe that casual sex is inherently damaging to women, specifically, you are buying into the idea that men want sex and women want relationships, which is such a bio-essentialist conclusion to come to that I don't even know where to start with that.
If you are someone who is dating to marry, then I can see how someone coming up to you saying that they want something casual might make you a little bit pissed off. But that is not the same thing as them disrespecting you in some way. You just are not in alignment and want different things, and that is fine, but someone is not a ‘fuckboy’ for being honest about their desires and telling you upfront what they are looking for and what they are not.
Casual sex isn’t for everyone, but healthy casual relationships ARE possible as long as everyone is on the same page and communicates clearly. You deserve to have a good time in bed even when you’re not in a relationship - and if you don’t want that, it doesn’t mean others are disrespecting you for asking!
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