Monogamy can be worse for jealousy than Polyamory
I find monogamy more jealousy-inducing than polyamory, because if my partner can only be with ONE person, then of course I'd be more worried about them leaving me for someone else!
Fear of abandonment in polyamory is probably one of the most common causes of jealousy/insecurity that I see in my non-monogamous clients. More often than not, it comes from childhood wounds around unreliable or inconsistent caregivers, and that leads to irrational fears later in life.
I'm fully aware you cannot logic your way out of your feelings. However I'm still going to try to instil the reminder that when you have multiple partners, you give yourself the freedom to believe that your partner chooses you because they WANT to be with you. Not because they NEED you and don't have anyone else.
You can feel safe in the knowledge that your partner, despite having other options, actively invests into your relationship and is genuinely happy with you - not for what you PROVIDE, but for who you ARE.
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