My Thoughts On “Your Feelings Aren’t My Responsibility”
Your partner's emotions aren't your responsibility, but you should still consider their feelings when acting. That doesn't mean doing everything you can to avoid their discomfort at the expense of your own needs and boundaries. Factoring them into your decision-making is just part of being a decent, respectful, and responsible human.
Have you heard the phrase "your feelings aren't my responsibility"? What it means is that everyone has a responsibility to manage their own feelings to a situation. There is a difference between someone's actions and how you feel about those actions, because different people respond positively/negatively to different things.
Unfortunately, a lot of people have taken that phrase and run with it, and weaponised it in scenarios where they are objectively being unkind or cruel. Or, even if someone is unintentionally hurt, instead of addressing the impact of one's actions, they use the phrase to suggest that the person who is hurting has to deal with it alone.
It's impossible to summarise all this nuance in one post, but "your feelings aren't my responsibility" does NOT mean "so I can do whatever I want without consequences" or "so if you happen to feel hurt by something I did, I don't need to show any care towards you because it wasn't my fault". You still need to be accountable to the people around you when you're doing stuff, and you can acknowledge that your partner feels upset and care for them WITHOUT taking on blame for what happened if it was completely accidental.
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