Are You Bad at Polyamory, Or…
Are you "bad at polyamory", or were you just not taught anything other than monogamy?
Are you "bad at polyamory", or are your traumas and insecurities causing you distress?
Are you "bad at polyamory", or is your jealousy telling you your needs aren't being met?
Are you "bad at polyamory", or are you in a bad relationship?
Because polyamory/non-monogamy is such a stigmatised and underrepresented relationship structure, an extremely common struggle I've witnessed is clients not knowing whether they're struggling because non-monogamy isn't a good fit for them. Or if they're struggling because the situation they're in is actually toxic or lacking the support that they need.
There are a lot of misconceptions about how polyamory 'should' be, and bad actors who will exploit this lack of education to confuse, manipulate, and abuse victims into thinking they're the problem. Or even simply by just telling them they're 'bad at polyamory' while taking zero accountability for how they might have contributed to the situation.
You are (probably) not bad at polyamory. It's probably more likely your struggle is with clear communication, boundary-setting, self-advocacy, conflict resolution, and emotional regulation. Many people are not taught the relational skills needed to handle *relationships* in general. And sometimes, you're actually incredibly GOOD at handling relationships - but your partner is just a piece of shit.
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