On The “Predatory Polyamorist” Stereotype
Newsflash: polyamorous people tend to date other polyamorous people, because why would anyone want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t accept the way you love, or who suffers because of who you are? 🤯
The idea that there’s always one person secretly resenting the relationship is not true - and it negatively paints all polyamorous people as evil manipulators of non-consenting monogamous people when that is far from the reality. Polyamorous people are not wrong for wanting polyamory, in the same way that monogamous people are not wrong for wanting monogamy. Everyone just needs to be honest with themselves (and their partners) about what they really want.
There are also situations where someone is literally just crying because they’re adjusting to the change, and not because they aren’t really polyamorous. Change is often stressful, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad. Plenty of people who struggled at the start eventually adjusted and embraced polyamory for all the freedom and expansiveness it offers. Others don’t, and that’s okay - it’s normal to try things and realise they’re not for you.
In the situations where it is true that one person actually just wants monogamy, they eventually admit it to themselves and break up so everyone can find people they’re more compatible with. Polyamory is less socially acceptable, but it’s not that hard to imagine two (or more) polyamorous people finding each other and genuinely being happy together.
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