Double Standards In Polyamory
My ‘polyamorous’ ex once told me they didn’t like me sleeping with other people because I was a woman, but it was fine for him to do the same as a man. Double standards much? 🙄
Your gender does not determine whether or not you are predisposed to, or have more license to, practice polyamory. And no matter how you and your partner identify, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. Double standards, especially those that are based on misconceptions about how men are more “naturally non-monogamous” than women, are utter BS. I’m not saying that you have to do the exact same thing that your partner is doing, but if you have granted a certain freedom for yourself, then it’s only fair that your partner has the option to exercise that same freedom as well.
Slut-shaming tends to be less common in the polyamorous community, but it does still happen, especially to women. (I am actually non-binary and agender, but I don’t feel the need to present androgynously to express my gender, and so I am treated as a woman by society and experience misogyny around my sexuality. So for the purposes of the point I am making in this post, I am a woman.) It’s unfair, it’s incredibly coercive, and it goes against many core values around gender equality and freedom of sexuality that the polyamorous community generally stands for.
If your partner is telling you that they can enjoy certain freedoms that you can’t on the basis of your gender (or really anything else) - run.
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