"Autonomy" Doesn't Mean What You Think
I think the polyamorous community has a huge problem with taking the concept of autonomy too far. To the point where some people just feel like they can do whatever the fuck they want without any consequences or taking any responsibility. And if you try and tell them to be considerate of other people and that what they're doing is bad, they tell you that you're trying to infringe on their sense of freedom. No!
Being in a society and being an ethical human who relates to other humans means that, to some extent, you do have to give up a certain level of freedom because you need to be considerate of other people. That means not just doing whatever the fuck your impulses tell you to do.
I think that some people get very individualist in their thinking when it comes to enjoying their freedom in polyamory and they forget about the responsibility part. If everyone just did whatever they wanted without care for anyone else the world would go up in flames.
What does “autonomy” mean to you? It certainly doesn’t mean “freedom from all consequences or responsibilities” to me. A key skill in polyamory (and life generally) is being empathetic and considerate of how your actions impact other people, and weighing up what you might gain from a decision against how others may suffer or be affected. Polyamory is not a free for all to do whatever you want, and the sooner you learn that, the more peaceful your polyamorous experience will be.
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