My top 5 red flags🚩in polyamorous relationships

Here are my top 5 red flags:

1. Love is infinite, but time and energy are not. I date people who actually follow through on the things they promise, not those who say nice things but have no awareness of their capacity.

2. If I’m dating someone who tells me things like “My partner MADE ME cancel on you, but I didn’t want to!” it’s a turnoff. It tells me they either don’t know how to set boundaries with their partner and advocate for their desires. Or they refuse to take ownership of the fact that they made a choice to care for their partner at my expense while bitching about them to me in the process. Neither option makes me feel safe or secure.

3. I want to meet my metamours in my own time, and we get to decide what kind of relationship we want with each other, not our partner. Wanting your partners to respect each other’s relationship with you is fine, but you can’t force anyone to be friends.

4. Dating me as a bisexual person means accepting the wholeness of my bisexuality, not splitting it up into genders that feel more or less acceptable for you. If you’re not comfortable with me dating all genders, then don’t date me at all.

5. The biggest red flag is a lack of self awareness. If you’re not conscious of the ways that your actions are affecting others, or the reasons *why* you’re doing XYZ, you’re not for me as a partner. Being careless about the way you move in relationships is a recipe for disaster.

What are your red flags? 🚩

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