How to Unpack your Jealous Emotions
If your struggling with jealousy it can be useful to do ask yourself some questions. When you’re no longer in an activated state, reflect on what happened:
Did you feel anger? Ask youself where was that anger coming from? Who was I angry at? What does this remind me of?
Did you feel fear? Ask yourself what am I scared of? Is there something that I'm particularly worried will happen? How realistic is it that fear is actually going to happen? What does that say about my relationship?
Did you feel like you were spiralling? What were you spiralling about? What is the pattern of your spiralling? Have you spiralled in a similar way before? What do you think activated the spiralling the most?
Don't take this as an indication that you're forever doomed. Be curious about your feelings. Look at what's coming up for you. Have a support system in place to help you work through that. This does get better.
Emotional awareness and maturity isn’t something you gain overnight - it’s something that takes active work to manage, and time to reflect on. Polyamorous relationships often put you in situations where you can no longer operate on autopilot - you have to think not only what you’re doing but also why.
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