Stop Disappointing Everyone in Polyamory
If you are polyamorous and looking for long-term connection: learn to be disciplined with your time and energy management, or risk disappointing multiple people at once. There's nothing inherently wrong with having a lot of love to give, but if you set up a dating routine that you cannot realistically maintain long-term, it will likely lead to issues later on when you burn out from lack of capacity.
In monogamy, a lot of people default to spending most of their time with one romantic partner so there are usually fewer issues around scheduling conflicts or opportunities for comparisons to be made. But if you have multiple intimate connections, you need to be clear about when you're spending time with whom in order to manage everyone's expectations effectively. "Going with the flow" can get messy really fast when two or more people want to spend quality time with you.
Overcommitting to a new and exciting connection can risk neglecting other existing partners, or lead to lots of dramatic changes in schedule when the New Relationship Energy inevitably fades that can potentially create distress amongst all your partners. Your partners will likely not appreciate being jerked around by your whims under the guise of "having freedom" or "following your heart" in polyamory. Being spontaneous within reason is fine, but being chaotic and irresponsible is not.
When in doubt, assume you have less capacity than you actually do and go from there. It's better to be pleasantly surprised with more free time, than to underdeliver when you find out you have less. Schedule based on the time and energy you actually have - not what you wish you had, or what you think your partner deserves. Consistency, not impulsivity, is what ultimately builds safety and security in romantic relationships 💛
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