How I Did Gay Sex Wrong for YEARS
Having bad gay sex doesn't mean that you don't like girls.
Let me explain.
Not to brag, but I've had sex with a lot of women. But a lot of those experiences were kind of fine. I hadn't quite figured out my type - but also, more importantly, I hadn't figured out what kind of role I wanted to play.
I took a very active, more dominant role. Essentially, I did a lot of topping. I've realised that I really don't like doing that. I wasn't feeling truly embodied and that made me feel really insecure about my sexuality. But I've since had some fantastic experiences with people who are more confident tops. It's in those experiences that I'm like, wow, I am so into this!
Your bad experiences don't have to define your whole identity. You're meeting people. It's gonna take time. You're still figuring yourself out. That's okay.
I have identified as some form of queer since 2012, bisexual since 2018 and non-binary since around 2023. Despite this, I didn’t feel truly confident in my queerness until the last year or two, especially when it came to the bedroom - and to be honest, I think it’s still a work in progress.
What I’ve found is that there’s a big difference between knowing you’re queer, and feeling secure in your identity. So I made a video titled “Queer Confidence: 5 Things I Learnt To Embrace Who I Am”, and it covers things I struggled with and learnt to internalise, discoveries I made about my sexual identity and the ways I had been blundering before, and how it’s affected the way I find compatible partners today. Watch the whole video here.
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