What is Symbiosexuality?

Written By Leanne Yau

Have you heard of the term “symbiosexual”? If you haven’t, I wouldn’t blame you - it’s a new microlabel that only emerged in the last year. Below I explain what this terms means, why I identify as symbiosexual, and how I express my symbiosexuality 💕

Have you ever felt attracted not to a person, but a relationship? I don't just mean being into two or more individual people who happen to be dating each other...I mean feeling drawn to their specific relationship dynamic -the way they flirt, the things they say to and about each other, the specific energy they share that is unique to their connection - and it stirring something in you. Maybe you want to spend more time with them to bask in their energy, or maybe they turn you on.

If you relate, you might be symbiosexual.

Symbiosexuality was coined by researcher Sally Johnston in her 2024 study, and she described it as "an attraction to the energy, multidimensionality, and power shared between people in relationships". Symbiosexuality differs from bi/pansexuality - you can be any sexuality and symbiosexual. And while symbiosexuality can overlap with polyamory, not all symbiosexuals are polyamorous - one might prefer multiple separate relationships.

Also, one can be drawn to a relationship dynamic, but not necessarily want to get involved with the people in it; in the asexual community, this is called being aegosexual! In the non-monogamous community, some symbiosexuals enjoy dating couples to express this attraction.

I am one of those people - sometimes, I enjoy casual group play with couples far more than playing with each individual separately. When there's more than one person to bounce your energy off, things can get electric! I love going on group dates and getting couples to talk about their relationship, and using this to stoke their attraction to each other and later facilitate their fantasies. I've also learnt so much about relationships - the good, the bad, and the ugly - through dating couples.

In a sexual context, watching two people who have spent time getting to know each other's bodies play with each other is a whole different level of erot!c. You can tell when two people are so in sync that they're truly comfortable with each other, and are giving and receiving genuine pleasure. They know exactly what buttons to press, what positions to maneuver each other into, who takes the initiative, who yields, and when or if they switch. It's even better when they're exhibitionists and love putting on a show - that way, everyone's getting something out of the experience!

My symbiosexuality and my past experiences playing with couples is exactly why I also love watching real couples in porn. I feel real compersion for people who enjoy showing off their intimate lives. Seeing them talk and laugh with each other, and touch each other with such familiarity, makes it feel so much more relatable, intimate, and real. It isn't just physically fulfilling to watch, but also emotionally fulfilling.

I wouldn’t say symbiosexual counts as a sexuality label in the same way as heterosexual or bisexual, but it definitely exists as a microlabel along the same lines as noetisexual or lumbersexual. What do you think?

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Leanne Yau
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